Letting Go of Perfection

When someone puts you on a pedestal, the moment you reveal yourself as human, or not wanting to or capable of meeting their expectations, they may react with reducing your value in their eyes. The higher they hold you as a powerful being, the farther they may drop their opinion of you. For every action there is an equal reaction. It is often said that those you love you will eventually hate. It is tragic but this happens many of our relationships. It is a wonderful opportunity to accept your fellow humans as they are not as you want them to be.

We are being reminded that holding someone high above you is giving away your God given power to an objectified source.  We must be mindful of seeing our fellow humans as perfect or imperfect. It is almost certain that if we see another as perfect, they will with some eventuality reveal themselves as imperfect.  None of us reach that lofty goal of perfection in life. It is simply impossible. We are all in this wonderful boat together, surfing the Sea of Existence in a perpetual state of trial and effort, successes and failures, all in one great experiment called loving. They way we judge ultimately out pictures in what we find ourselves saying about other people. We can it all around by asking ourselves: Is it true? Does it need to be said? How does it make you feel to believe that about someone else? Can you let it go? How does it feel to keep that belief?  (For more: Read Loving What Is by Bryron Katie)

When we look into each other’s eyes, we can see the grace that exists in the fabric of everything. Especially true when we are open to others through the view of lover. We are mirrors for one another.  A loving heart will see another loving heart. A mistrusting heart will see mistrust in others, ect. In the shimmering beauty we give each other reason to reveal our true selves. The mirror will not always reflect what we want to see about ourselves. It will always reflect the truth of our inner talk. Often it is easier to see in another person. Then we start thinking that so and so is our problem. The ripple always truly exists in our own judgment as it relates to the story we are telling ourselves.

It helps to have a few tools in your back pocket for self acceptance. I like The Twelve Pathways to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes Jr.  This is pathway #6: I accept myself completely here and now and consciously experience everything I feel, think, say, and do (including my emotion backed addictions) as a necessary part of my growth into higher consciousness.

The author Neal Donald Walsh has given us a lovely children’s book called The Little Soul and the Sun. This book furthers this discussion in a most delightful way. It reminds us of the roles we play with each other by playing out our soul contracts with each other. We are often asking to others “Reveal myself to me”.  We do this in many different forms.  Often the words come out “I love you” or “I hate you”. Everything that seems to happen to us is an out picturing of our own play. When people are not playing according to the role you have written for them, perhaps they know not of the script. People who love harmony will want to please you, but we simply cannot do that if our own inner harmony is triggered by other core needs. We contract others to play these roles of savior, villain, lover, ect….

Think back on the last time someone was upset with you. Were they really upset with you? Were their expectations being met? How were they asking please…? In times when haven’t heard clearly the request of another, and instead heard what they said as shaming or blaming, we can go back and ask ourselves some questions. Until we can honestly hear the beauty within the request, we cannot respond in a way in which everyone’s needs are beautifully met. Meditation is the remedy to provide a clear space to hear things differently and connect in a heart space within. From this calm and loving attunement opens a world of self love and forgiveness.  For more read: Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg PH.d.

Anything offered or received with an open heart will be a blessing for the giver or receiver. For every drop of Love we give each other, there will also be droplets of things less sweet. In every moment of connection we remember the truth, but for the moments of disconnection, recognizing the imperfection within all of us, it is helpful to remember Ho’ oponopono forgiveness

May you have harmony in all your relations!

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