Falling In Love With The Beloved

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Falling In Love With The Beloved

I have returned from Mendocino Sufi Camp understanding what an honor it is to be a manager on staff with them. May I serve them for the rest of my life! I got no sleep or what we normally think of as sleep. Every night I took soul walks, which is the experience of being asleep but completely awake.  In one Darshan I had with Hazarat Inayat Khan, he pulled a curtain off my third eye and all I can see now when I close my eye’s is pure light. I am to be initiated into the Sufi Order. It was all I could do to not be completely in love everyone and one really had me confused ,  but I knew it was just the heart opening and it had nothing to do with him, or us personally.  Praise Allah! I was conscious that this was a lesson about objectifying love.

Pir Shabda Khan was doing well and that was a wonderful thing to see, hear, feel and know.

I will be writing about wearing a veil in high spiritual practices, in short: I was going to the dance hall and opening up WIDE, then heading to the kitchen (where in the first few days everyone became needy little children, including me.) and people were throwing barbs (not knowing they were doing it), into my chakras. Mary,  a delightful zikr teacher at camp,  told me I needed to be wearing a hat for protection. Asha went about finding me one. Richard the camp Director offered me the hat off is head. (What an honor!)  I wore it for a day and it protected my crown chakra. Then it became a game and people offered me their hats as the news spread I needed protection. When I got grounded enough to look around my belongings and found a billibandana and a white scarf. I put on the white scarf and never took it off. It turned out to be the biggest tool I had. I understand why women wear veils. Although it has been somehow perverted in some societies, under that veil I was with Mother Mary and her court.

In the 7 am zikr and meditation (the jewel in heart of camp) I was receiving audience with the Divine Hazarat Inayat Khan. I am clear beyond clear who my teacher is now.

The kitchen underwent a transformation and the cooks who had been there long time were commenting how easy it was and how grounded the kitchen was. We needed far less people in the kitchen. I learned to be a manager and not a doer, so I didn’t do much cooking. It was a stressful experience in the beginning. I lost it, packed my things, was preparing to leave and come home. Thankfully, we had a camp counselor and three others who ran up the hill and talked me through everything that was coming up, and I stayed.  Some boundaries were established. First, no one could complain to me, they could complain or talk about their dietary needs to Rahim, and he could talk to me. It was nice to have the buffer. Second, I would elect a shift leader for each meal, give them instructions, then go to class with a walkie talkie. They would come get me if they needed me. Holy Cow! What a great experience learning to delegate. When everyone adjusted to the change the kitchen got easier and easier , like boiling water. I hope a get to do it again next year. I am just starting to figure it out.

I have a new song to share. You are a Child of the Universe.  I have zikr running round and round my being, Huuuuuuu Allah.

I am reminding myself I don’t need to run off and move to Sebastapol, it was all I could do to keep driving after going through my old neighborhood in San Franciso. I am hoping that will pass, I don’t think Horst can take me running off again!!!

Mendo for me was a pressure cooker. I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried, I laughed, I cried. It was intense. I can’t wait to be with my family again. I miss them already. Hu Allah, Hu Allah, Hu Allah, Hu.

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